January 23, 2007
View Comments | Post CommentI'm Sorry, Sir... This Toilet Is For Members Only
A couple nights ago I was in a hurry to get out the door, but I still had to brush my teeth. I was going to take with me a change of clothes and two of my textbooks, so I stacked all that up with my jacket on top. I put the pile on the counter, to the side of the sink, so that I could just grab it and go when I was done brushing. And it perched there. Precariously.
At some point in the middle of brushing, my elbow bumped the stack. The whole thing fell off the counter, and went straight into the toilet. This caused me suddenly to lunge to try to save it all. The lunging also included my toothpastey hand letting go of the toothbrush in my mouth and shooting toward the falling stuff. So in the process of jumping with toothpastey hands outstretched, as my clothes and books were plummeting into my toilet, I ended up flinging a mix of toothpaste and saliva all over the bathroom in a wide arc. The arc of saliva and toothpaste managed to splatter on pretty much everything in the bathroom, including the jeans I had on, all the items that fell into the toilet, and pretty much everything else, too.
Not wanting to cause any further toothpaste damage, I frantically wiped the toothpaste off my hands and lunged back toward the toilet to retrieve my sad pile of flotsam before too much damage occurred.
As I pulled all of it out the toilet, I realized that my jacket had insulated the textbooks! Thank you, Members Only! I also realized gleefully that Kyle had remembered to flush that day, so there was nothing in the toilet but water!
So I wiped a bit of water off the book covers, wiped the toothpaste off of my arms, pants, shoes, the floor, the shower curtain, the mirror, and the counter, grabbed a different change of clothes and a different jacket, threw the toilet clothes into the laundry basket, and I was on my way. No permanent harm done.
Posted at January 23, 2007 2:59 AM | Comments (0)
