January 23, 2006
View Comments | Post CommentCrack Cocaine and the Snitch Bitch Hoes who interfere with distribution
Wow. I'm so glad things like this actually happen! Pay particular attention to Footnote #1. Tip from Jeanette.
U.S. v. Murphy, 406 F.3d 857 (7th Cir. 2005).
We begin with the facts. Pamela Hayden agreed to become an informant for local law enforcement after being arrested on drug charges. In December of 2002, she made two controlled purchases of crack cocaine from Darron Murphy, Jr., which led to his arrest.On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois, Murphy, Sr., who had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called Hayden a "snitch bitch hoe" [FN1] and hit her in the head with the back of his hand. He said he saw her name in discovery materials from his son's criminal case and that she was responsible for putting him in jail. He put a gun--a small chrome-plated one--to her head and said he was going to kill her for putting his son in jail. He said this would be her last night and her body would be found in a ditch. Murphy then placed several calls, telling Hayden he was calling his people to get someone to dispose of her car.
FN1. The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."Baker, who dealt drugs for Murphy, eventually arrived. Murphy asked Hayden for her keys before eventually ordering her outside to retrieve them from her car. Once out of the trailer, Hayden tried to run away, but she was thwarted by Baker, who grabbed her right arm. Murphy again told Hayden to get her keys. When Hayden stalled, an impatient Murphy hit her with the butt of his gun, splitting open the top of her head. After struggling for a few more minutes, Hayden managed to get in her car and drive away. A sheriff's deputy discovered her at 4 a.m. She had a bleeding gash on her head and bruises on her arm.
Police later arrested Murphy outside his home and discovered that he was carrying crack cocaine. They also arrested Baker inside Murphy's home. A search of the home revealed more crack, a syringe, baking soda, a digital scale used for weighing narcotics, and firearms, including the small chrome-plated one identified by Ms. Hayden.
Posted at January 23, 2006 12:03 AM | Comments (5)
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i, for one, am glad that this case settled once and for all the difference between a run-of-the-mill gardening tool and a loose woman. i think we can all appreciate the confusion.
and i think this law clerk was obviously smoking crack when he wrote this opinion...
Posted by: jeanette at January 24, 2006 11:53 AM
That's hilarious. I still say though that my favorite footnote of all-time is footnote 11 from Mathers v. Bailey, Not Reported in N.W.2d, 2003 WL 22410088 (Mich. Cir. Ct. 2003). Credit Ewa Budz (section 1) with the find.
FN11. To convey the Court's opinion to fans of rap, the Court's research staff has helped the Court put the decision into a universally understandable format:
Mr. Bailey complains that his rep is trash So he's seeking compensation in the form of cash Bailey thinks he's entitled to some monetary gain Because Eminem used his name in vain
Eminem says Bailey used to throw him around Beat him up in the john, shoved his face in the ground Eminem contends that his rap is protected By the
rights guaranteed by the first amendment
Eminem maintains that the story is true And that Bailey beat him black and blue In the alternative he states that the story is phony And a reasonable person would think it's baloney
The Court must always balance the rights Of a defendant and one placed in a false light If the plaintiff presents no question of fact To dismiss is the only acceptable act
If the language used is anything but pleasin' It must be highly objectionable to a person of reason Even if objectionable and causing offense Self-help is the first line of defense
Yet when Bailey actually spoke to the press what do you think he didn't address? Those false light charges that so disturbed Prompted from Bailey not a single word
So highly objectionable, it could not be--Bailey was happy to hear his name on a CD
Bailey also admitted he was a bully in youth Which makes what Marshall said substantial truth This doctrine is a defense well known And renders Bailey's case substantially blown
The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact They're an exaggeration of a childish act Any reasonable person could clearly see That the lyrics could only be hyperbole
It is therefore this Court's ultimate position That Eminem is entitled to summary disposition.
Posted by: Nuf at January 24, 2006 7:08 PM
Nuf, that's just awesome. I think each Supreme Court justice should be required to rap at least one of their decisions per year.
Posted by: Jeff at January 25, 2006 5:10 PM
good thing I don't have to deal with these shady deals coppers make.
Posted by: Hemaworstje at January 26, 2006 7:14 AM
