Israel Recap, Part 1: Getting There

Gary, our trip leader, gave everyone in the group $1. He said it is tradition to give money to the religious beggars outside the Kotel (Western Wall (Wailing Wall)), and it is good luck, and for us each to give the dollar to a beggar, or split it up and give out various increments to the beggars, at least totaling a dollar. So, going into the poker game ($1 buy-in), I said that I was betting my Kotel dollar. If I lose, I'm not giving them anything, but if I win, I'm giving away all the winnings. So, sure enough, I won the poker game. We were playing tournament style, at which I am inexplicably really good. And I followed through and gave around $12 to beggars outside the wall while we were there.

The next morning, we all got up bright and early for check-in. El Al is the most secure airline in the world. They asked us to be there five hours early for our flight. So we all got into a huge line. They interviewed each of us to make sure we weren't terrorists (or otherwise Arab). I had quite a bit of trouble here. The interview went something like this:

Airline person: "Hi, Mr. Barzelay. You have an Israeli name, do you have family in Israel?"
Me: "Not that I know of."
Airline person: "I see. Do you know Hebrew?"
Me: "No."
Airline person: "None?"
Me: "No."
Airline person: "Do you know the Jewish holidays?"
Me: "No."
Airline person: "But you're Jewish?"
Me: "Well... sort of."
Airline person: "Did you have a bar mitzvah?"
Me: "No."
Airline person: "You're trying to tell me that your name is David Barzelay, and yet you know no one in Israel, don't know the Jewish holidays, and didn't have a bar mitzvah?"
Me: "Yes."
Airline person: "I see. Come sit here and do not move until an El Al security person tells you to."
~~~3 hours pass~~~~

Airline personnel then take every item out of my luggage, fondle it, wipe the little thingy on it testing for chemical residue, and then put it back in the bag. They also have me stand, take off shoes and belt, empty pockets, and then two different guards each wand every inch of me meticulously. During this time, I get asked for my passport at least fifteen times by ten different Israelis. Eventually, they say (keep in mind, this is now literally five hours after my arrival and AFTER the time the plane is supposed to leave) that I'm cleared to get on the plane, but I have to be escorted to the plane by three armed guards.

On the way to the plane, I was told that we wouldn't be served a meal on the plane until 6pm. This turned out to be wrong, but by that time, I wouldn't have had anything to eat for like 20 hours. So, as the three armed guards were escorting me to the plane, all because I wasn't Jewish enough for El Al, I saw a Burger King. I jokingly said, "So, do you think maybe you could escort me to the Burger King over there?"

The guards look at each other, shrug, and one says, "I guess so." So, then I get escorted to Burger King by three armed, uniformed Israeli guards. They let me skip the line.

I had a pretty rough time of the security. So boring. Two kids got strip searched, so I guess I didn't have it so bad. One of them because he said he didn't know Hebrew, but he had a kipa (yamulkah (skull cap)) with Hebrew writing on it. "Why do you have a kipa with Hebrew on it if you don't know Hebrew?" Other people got asked some really funny stuff. The guards are trying to ferret out people who have perhaps been instructed a bit in what to say, but are lying or whatever. So, our awesome trip leader Gary (300 or so pictures of Gary to come, by the way) got asked the following questions:

Airline person: "Did you enjoy your circumcision?"
Gary: "What? I don't know. I was like eight days old."
Airline person: "Would you like another circumcision?"
Gary: "No!"

The plane ride itself was uneventful. They had five movies to choose from, three of which I'd already seen, one of which I definitely didn't want to see, and one of which I watched reluctantly. The meals were superb. I don't know if it was just that airline, or if all international flights beat the hell out of domestic flights on food. Every meal had a whole bunch of stuff, and was finished off with a little chocolate. They came around every forty minutes or so offering complimentary coffee, hot tea, soda, fruit juices, wine, or beer. A lot of kids on the plane were drinking a lot since Israeli drinking age is 18 and they were under 21. And hey, complimentary alcohol. I guess that's what you get with what I can only guess was a $2000 fare. I sat next to reasonable people. I slept a lot. Read some. Nothing much happened.

We flew into Tel Aviv, where I changed, brushed teeth, etc. After the hassle of getting on the plane, I expected a huge to do at customs, but I passed right through undetected. Changed some money into shekels. The exchange rate was roughly 4.3 NIS (shekels) to the dollar. Then we got onto our bus, where we met our tour guide Ya'ara, our bus driver Joshi, and our guard, armed with an M-16, Yiftach. Then we immediately drove to Jerusalem, which is about an hour drive.

On the way to Jerusalem, I got to see the Israeli countryside, which you'll see some of later. I was struck by how Meditteranean it looked. I expected desert, and what I got was olive orchards and vineyards (mixed in with the occasional industrial plant or waste dump). There were small towns sprinkled around, all of which looked remarkably similar. Then we got to Jerusalem. Here are the pictures that I took before getting to Jerusalem, including airports, plane, etc. Not many. Just wait for all the ones to come. This has been Israel Recap, Part 1. I would guess that there will be around ten parts. If you don't read them all, look at the pictures (this time there aren't any very special pictures, though), and comment, you're not my friend.

Airport and Plane:

Boarding the buses in Tel Aviv: